The Child
by Spufster
Summary: Buffy and Spike get a child After damage AS5
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer- I do not own any the characters of Buffy or Angel  
  
This is a few days after Damage  
  
*****  
  
Spike passed Harmony's desk as he was about to walk into Angel's office.  
  
"Spike."  
  
The vampire turned around and stared at his former love. "Yeah."  
  
"I've a letter for you."  
  
He stared at her, clearly surprised. "For me?"  
  
"For who else? As far as I can remember there is only one guy here who calls himself Spike. Still don't know why? Now you have gone all good."  
  
Spike smirked at the jealousy behind her tone. "Right, luv. Can I have the letter?"  
  
She handed him the letter and continued polishing her nails. He glanced at the envelope for a moment and sighed as he saw that the stamp wasn't from Europe. He didn't recognize it, it looked pretty strange to him. He shrugged the thoughts off and opened it. He slipped the letter out and read it.  
  
"Spike,  
  
Sorry, for giving you false hope. It's not from Buffy. I'll explain the situation. Andrew told me that you were still alive. Well, I must confess that, uh this is embarrassing, but I'm glad. Really glad. Hope Andrew didn't kiss you all over. Grin. He's doing a great job within the new Council. You see, Anya sacrified her life for him and know he's all motivated.   
  
Spike looked up. //Bloody hell, who would have thought? Girl turned out to be a hero.// A few memories passed by before he continued.  
  
Yes, I know. She is a hero. And I've to say that it doesn't make life any easier. I still miss her with all my heart. But don't tell Andrew.   
  
I don't trust Angel and his evil stronghold. That's also part of the reason why I wrote this letter and why I'm in Africa. You see he has a son and that didn't go all happy. Can't risk his involvement in this . . . Not without your approval. But he's . . . well, hold on . . . he isn't the only souled vampire who's a father. You're the other one. Well, gonna be. And Buffy is the mother.  
  
Spike blinked and read it again. //What!?// He looked at Harmony and he saw her looking confused at him through a mist of bloody tears. "Spike what is it?"  
  
He hold the letter and walked away from the desk to a private room not able to hear Harmony's shouts. Overwhelmed with emotions he sat down on a chair. It's that he did't need to breath, otherwise confusion, happiness mixed with total fear would have sufficated him. He calmed down and started to continue.  
  
A shock, isn't it? Don't worry Buffy is perfectly fine and the child is going to be healthy. You see, I knew that this would happen. I knew it when that asshole coughed my eye out. Still need to thank you for saving me back then. My mind wasn't ready then. Thanks. Like I said, I saw it all. In a flash when the priest talked to me. I vote Buffy out back then, with all the pain in my heart for doing so, because it would bring you two together. I know it sounds strange, but it's true. Didn't know you would end up as a herioc pile of smoking ash though.  
  
I know more, but that's something I can't tell you yet. Also not too Buffy. I'm in Africa to find out more about your child and the only thing I can tell you is that it's a girl and she is going to be a potential. She is going to be The Slayer. Buffy doesn't know that. Only you and I know.  
  
This is it for now, I'll inform you over a few days when I'm back from the desert. Hopefully alive.  
  
Please, don't tell anyone. Don't be too nervous. I know the feeling of being a dad, even though I'm not one. Caused me my wedding. I know you would like to see Buffy and all. I'll tell her that you are alive when she is ready for it. She has other things to worry about right now. So, let me do my thing and you go to a Baby 'R Us store.  
  
Xander  
  
PS Dana is in good hands and sorry for the double-cross.  
  
  
  
Feedback please. 


	2. Feelings

Disclaimer- I do not own any the characters of Buffy or Angel  
  
This is a few days after Damage  
  
*****  
  
Thanks for the awesome reviews. I love it!!! Yes, I'm totally begging for a Beta. I ain't English and totally new to this, writing I mean. Thanks MySweetAudria, I didn't realize that I had the setting on non-Anonymous  
  
Suggestions for a name?  
  
*****  
  
Spike read the letter a few more times before it all sunk in. "Bloody hell," he muttered. Within the thousand feelings that hit his soul was the strongest that he wanted to rush over to Buffy and be with her. Spike stood up, but the emotions had drained him as he almost fell to the ground. He braced himself against the wall. He regained his composure and ran out of the room to Angel's office ignoring any of Harmony's comments. He noticed that Angel wasn't there and sat down in the leather seat behind the desk. He slid his chair back a few inches and opened a desk drawer. There were stacks of paper neatly placed in the drawer. He skimmed all the papers and before he rummaged through an other drawer. When he searched all the drawers he came to only one conclusion: "Bummer . . . No phone-number, no address. Nothing . . . Buffy really didn't trust him?" He raised an eye brow. "Blood hell, who would have thought."   
  
He propped his feet up on the desk. Looking out on the city of Los Angeles he wondered about all weird stuff that had happened in the last year. "I love a Slayer, a Slayer loves me. I get a soul and then I finally die and come back as Gandalf. Gandalf?" He chuckled slightly before continuing his thoughts. "And now I'm gonna get a little girl who is gonna be a Slayer?"  
  
He leaned back comfortably into the overstuffed leather chair and let himself drift off slightly, slowly fading into a daydream. First he was hurt, had felt only the deep pain of guilt and sorrow. He felt helpless when he had been manipulated by The First. It was the burden of having a soul. But then came the change. Love. He felt totally happy when he had been in her arms - and save. For some instances he also felt scared when he knew it in his guts that he was going to die in a horrible way. But he was in peace when he had felt his soul burn to do something right - to save the world - while he had the girl of his dreams holding in his hand. The girl who was there for him when he needed her the most while nobody had trusted him. Bloody hell, when he didn't even trust himself.  
  
And now this. . . . this was beyond anything he had felt . . . it was indescribable . . . wonderful. Granted, the emotional experiences - the ones which came from his soul - were still very new to him and therefore it had felt exaggerated and sometimes overwhelming. Like a new born baby. But was this feeling exaggerated? Or was it real? He swallowed as a blood tear slid over his cheekbone.  
  
***  
  
He imagined himself playing with his child. Learning her the first steps and how to cheat with poker. She learned him the newest dance moves and Justin Timberlake's newest single while he returned the favor with Frank Sinatra. The dream became more vivid . . .   
  
He found himself in a tub with the baby. Spike smiled at the laughing, splashing baby and stroked her soft baby skin. Shaking some toys in front of her little cute face while her intrigued eyes following it anxiously. And after the bath he pulled her in a pink pj and brought her to bed after some cuddling. His eyes twinkled as he watched her sleep.  
  
He was himself standing in the room craddling his little girl in his arms while his love watched them before she joined a deep hug . . .  
  
***  
  
He sighed as he came back to reality. The feelings were pure. A short smile featured his face. "Pink? Bloody hell, I'm feeling all girly now. There goes my rep." He chuckled. "Oh, well. As long that broody wanker doesn't know."  
  
But this wasn't the only feeling he felt. There was more . . . Trust. He trusted Buffy with his life. To some extend also her friends, even though it was forced. //It's not that I did have that much choice, didn't I? I had no clue how to defeat The First Evil.\\ He knew he had to trust them so that they could save the world.  
  
But this was different. Could he trust Xander enough to take care of this . . . something that was so important to him? In the past six years he had learned some things about the whelp. He knew people. In the last hundred years he had seen a lot about them. He could read them. He grinned. //Not to mention watching Passions. Bloody hell, I can actually feel for the characters.\\ He shook this realization out of his head to get back at the subject at hand. //The whelp . . . he would do anything to protect his friends and to help them.\\ He always needed to laugh as the others underestimated him. Especially when Angelus did.  
  
But that brought him to the next question: did Xander consider him a friend? He was friendly in the letter, sure. Apparently the boy trusted him enough to tell him about his daughter. Spike chuckled. //And not Angel!\\ He stood up and sighed. //Doesn't matter. It's Buffy's child too. Buffy's his friend and she trusted him enough to let him go with nibblet. Besides, the boy would never joke about these things . . . not even to him. I've seen his parents. A drunken fool as a dad and a mother who isn't any better.\\   
  
"So, bloody whelp is in Africa, huh?" he mumbled, "Wonder what this is all about . . ." he thought as his memories brought him back to the trial for his soul. He quickly snapped out of it and walked over to the windows. "Okay, lets wait a few days . . . Can't hurt that much . . ." He glanced through the sunshine protected glass and saw that it was getting dark. ". . . Let's do some shopping."   
  
Feedback please. And give me a name, the nicest will be the winner. 


	3. Shopping

Disclaimer- I do not own any the characters of Buffy or Angel  
  
This is a few days after Damage  
  
*****  
  
Thanks for the awesome reviews. Wow what a names! They are all cool. Need some time to choose, maybe I'll make a list of nominations. But we have still time before it's so far.   
  
Congratulations Tessa! How wonderful! Hope you can read some of my story though :) I love the name Aurora. Don't know if Spike is happy with her being his sunlight though :)  
  
Thanks cordelia_lolly. No, you're not a picky pain in the arse.  
  
I'm glad and also relieved that you guys like it that I have decided to let Xander write that letter.  
  
*****  
  
Spike found himself in a shop for pregnant women and little babies. "Tell me again why I am here?" he muttered to himself as he glanced at all the baby-stuff in the store. He grinned. "Oh, yes, I'm gonna be a father."  
  
He squeezed in something soft. "They are security blankies, sir. Satin and flannel . . . and see, they have Buddy Ears for comfort and teething. "Spike turned his head and saw a young woman talking to him and raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you, sir?"  
  
He flashed her a smile, feeling somewhat embarrassed. "Uh, no. I'm just browsing. Thank you."  
  
She nodded politely while put the cloth back. He saw her walking away and frowned //Oh, bloody hell.\\ "Miss?" he called for her, earning him her attention, "I think I could use some help."  
  
A hour later Spike had been guided through the world of baby shampoos, baby colognes, burpcloths. From diapers to toys and gifts for moms to safety products. He had wrinckled his nose when she had mentioned the word diapers, but that quickly had changed into a smile when he had felt the cloth.   
  
"You're going to be a wonderful father," she had said, "It's not often that the father is the parent who visits our shops, " she said.   
  
He proud smile featured his face. "Oh, well, what can I say? I'm a modern man," he replied while he stood there with his hands carrying full of stuff.   
  
"How do you want to pay, sir?"  
  
Spike eyes widened. //Oh, bloody hell!!\\ He thought for a second before replying. "Kittens?"  
  
*****  
  
'You want what!?" Angel asked incredously.  
  
"I wanna get payed."  
  
Angel frowned as he stared at the bleeched vampire, wondering if he was joking. "For what?"  
  
"For my work here. I'm your bloody partner."  
  
"First you were an haunting and annoying ghost. Than you became corpereal again and still you were nosing around and now you're my partner? You're not even wanted."  
  
"I don't care if I'm wanted. I'm never wanted. But I'm needed."  
  
A grin featured Angel's broody face. "Needed?? What has happened with you? Smoking crack?"  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm needed! Or did you forget what Andrew told you, Captain Cardboard. They don't trust you anymore in Slayer-Central. The way I see it, I'm the only connection between your evil holdstrong and them."  
  
"Andrew never told me that."  
  
"Oooh, yes he did. Did forget to mention it, huh? Didn't trust us to help the Slayer? Well, I've news for ya, mate. I got a letter today and they officially don't trust you at all."  
  
Angel walked over to the windows and looked over the city lights. "And that makes you my liaison?"  
  
"Yup. For them. Letter came from Xander."  
  
Angel turned his head and faced him while he barely could hide a grin. "He doesn't trust me? Ha! Tell me something new."  
  
"No, not for you, wanker. But, it has a little footnote that says that he trust *me*. What do ya think about that, mate."  
  
"He trusts you?? Even I don't-"  
  
"Saved the world, mate. Remember? Doesn't mean a sobbing bit to you, but there are still some people who at least give some damn about it."  
  
"Who would have thought," Angel muttered mockingly, "Okay, you win. You get to be the spokesman between us and them, but only via Xander." Spike raised his eyebrow to him and Angel continued. "At least he'll question all the bullshit you tell them."  
  
"Deal! Now, get I finally payed?" Angel sighed and nodded. Spike held up his hand. "Cash."   
  
*****  
  
Rome  
  
Same time, but 9 hours later due to time-difference - early in the morning.   
  
Buffy was wandering through the small alleys of the old Rome with her hands placed gently on her belly. Even through the fine cloths, which hung loosely around her, it was clearly visible that she was expecting a baby. She was daydreaming about the future, about all the Slayers, about Dawn, about her friends, about the baby and . . . about Spike. She loved this country and she loved Rome. It's people, it's culture and the food. But it wasn't enough to lift her mood. She sighed, sad that he wasn't here. Angry for the injustice that he couldn't be here.  
  
She pressed her feelings to the corner of her mind when she saw Dawn running towards her. The teenager's face was anxious as she shouted her name. "Buffy!" She smiled as she was happy for Dawn. She could see that her sister had a fair chance in life, a real life besides all the weirdness. The brunette had grown fast in maturity the last year and that was showing. Her grades were excellent and she had already dated a few boyfriends. She smiled wryly as she couldn't - didn't want - have date herself. Her mind was constantly with Spike.  
  
"Dawn? I thought you were in school?"  
  
She saw her sister scowling at her. "Class start at nine, Buff."  
  
Buffy sighed. "Oh. Yes, you're right. Sorry, I-"   
  
Dawn smiled widely at her. "C'mon, Buff. Can't get him out of your mind, can you?"  
  
Buffy flashed her a short smile. She saw Dawn giving her a supporting smile when the girl laid her hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it's alright . . . Maybe this will help. I've something for you."  
  
The blond Slayer raised an eyebrow as she noticed the letter. She recognized the stamp. "Xander?"  
  
  
  
*****  
  
Feedback please. And names are very welcome! 


	4. Fear

Disclaimer- I do not own any the characters of Buffy or Angel  
  
This is a few days after Damage  
  
*****  
  
Thanks for the super reviews. You know they are the fuel any writer, don't you?? They are all wonderful. Just like the names. I'll make a list of nominations. Names are still welcome, it will take some time before the baby gets born.   
  
Hi Horsefly. Yes, I know, but the baby immediately being a Slayer would be just to weird. I think she would turn into a a full Slayer when she is somewhere at the age of 14 or 15. hat is if that's what you meant :)  
  
Hi Lilmamaday. Normally he would. But concern for the baby would win it.  
  
Hi Zanthinegirl. Yes, officially he is working for W&H. But that's only officially  
  
Hi Cordelia-lollie: Elliot? Isn't that a name for a boy. I remember an Elliot Carter from the James Bond movie, tomorrow never dies.  
  
------------------  
  
Hey Buff,  
  
It's me, Cyclops calling from Africa. How's it going? How are you doing? How's the baby? How's Dawnie? She getting along with all those hot Italian school boys? I guess she has a hard time to keep them away. See my jealous but proud grin?  
  
I found some Newbie Slayers and they are heading to central command.   
  
But that's not why I write this letter. I spoke with Andrew. He'd news from the LA front. Like we all thought he's confirmed that he doesn't trust Angel and his W & H. He completed the mission succesfully and got Dana back, save. She's doing fine. But there is more. It's kind of hard to explain. So, I'll just say it. A few months after the sealing of the Hellmouth, that Amulet got back to W&H. And, hold on, Spike returned along with it. It's a long story, but in short: he's back.  
  
Buffy eyes widened. //Spike's back!??\\ She looked up. //He must be joking. This can't be. He is joking.\\ "Ha ha, not funny, Xander." //He is joking, right?\\  
  
"Buffy?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Oh, nothing, Dawn. Just one of Xander's lame jokes."  
  
She saw Dawnie grinning. "Hey, his jokes are never lame. What's the catch?"  
  
Buffy found herself wound up in thoughts and didn't hear hear her sister anymore.  
  
"Buffy? What's the joke? . . . Buffy?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, sorry," she responded as she wiped a tear away. "It's silly, really."  
  
She continued reading the letter while ignoring Dawn's questioning look.  
  
"I'm not joking, Buff. Never with Spike and you know it. And never with your heart. Okay, now you think I'm going to say why or how that jerk is back. But I'm not going to say he is a jerk. I honestly don't hate him anymore, so you truly have to believe me.  
  
Buffy felt stunned, shocked, whammied. She had many questions. How? How could he have be back and not know about it? How long was he back? She felt her body stiffening and suddenly felt like she'd been given too much air to breathe. Primal emotions out-shadowed all her questions.  
  
"Buffy?" Dawn asked very worried.  
  
She felt Dawn's supporting hand. "Is there something wrong with the baby? Does Xander have bad news?"  
  
Buffy snapped out of her shock back to reality. Her mouth twitched as she tried to find the words to express the overwhelming emotions that were welling up inside of her. "Dawn-" she said softly, swallowing and trying to wipe her eyes dry. "Xander, he…." Again, she paused, The beautiful young woman looked up at her little sister, her eyes brimming over with tears. "I can't . . ."  
  
She pressed the letter in Dawn's hands and ran away, leaving a stunned sister alone.  
  
*****  
  
Dawn read the first few sentences as well. Her mouth opened in amazement as she read Xander's words about Spike being alive. But she read further there where Buffy had stopped. Her eyes widened as Xander had changed his attention to her instead to Buffy:  
  
Dawn, please go after her, she needs your support. Give her some time and let her read the rest of this letter. You too. I know you don't like Spike, but it's important.   
  
The teenager read the rest while she ran after Buffy to their apartment, where she found her older sister crying on bed.  
  
*****  
  
Most women would cry out with joy when they found out about hearing that there loved one had returned. But with Buffy it was different. Spike wasn't missed or any other case from the 'maybe alive, somewhere out in the world' collection. She was there when he died. She had seen it with her own eyes, felt it with her own skin and with the deep pain cutting through her heart. She knew he was dead, because she had sacrified him . . .  
  
She has had nightmares about it. She was scared.  
  
Dawn sat next to her, saying nothing. The silence hang over the like a blanket, before only soft sobbings gently broke it as Dawn had her arm wrapped around her..   
  
Finally Buffy spoke and it came out a croak. She cleared her voice and chuckled a little. "Sorry."  
  
"Buff, it's no problem. And you might want to have a friend around for this."   
  
Buffy's eyes caught her's and held them. "I'm so afraid," she opened her heart to her.  
  
"I know, Buff."  
  
"Dawn, he's alive. What's he gonna say? How is he going to react when he knows I'm pregnant. I can barely believe it myself, how can I expect that he would? Does he still love me . . ." She swallowed and looked Dawn straight in the eyes seeing her own in the reflection, filled with terror. "Why didn't he call?"  
  
"Buff, it's alright. You don't have to be afraid. He's not mad at you." Buffy knew she couldn't just waltz in and expect Spike to welcome him with open arms after what had happened. "C'mon, Buff. Shake off whatever worries you have and please finish reading the letter. I'll be there when you need me."  
  
Buffy stared at her sister's resolvent face - but filled with care and support - as Dawn handed her the letter, which she took with trembling hands.   
  
*****  
  
Needing a cigarette very badly, the vampire walked outside. The moon hung brilliantly in the sky and stars were clearly visible as he was taking a long drag on his fag. He looked up at them and it made him wonder about the mysteries in the universe. About the mystery of life.  
  
He finished his smoke and flipped rest to the ground as he saw Fred coming through the door. The young woman stared at him as she came closer. "H-hey, is everything alright?" she asked.  
  
Spike smiled at her. "Couldn't be better, luv."  
  
"W-what was that about that letter?" she asked to his surprise.  
  
"Letter?"  
  
"C'mon, Spike, H-Harmony told me. Please, you can trust me."  
  
The blond vampire stared in her serious and worried face and finally nodded. He sighed and pulled out another cigarette . . .   
  
Feedback please.. 


	5. Mystery

Disclaimer- I do not own any the characters of Buffy or Angel

This is a few days after Damage

Sorry for having it take so long. Real Life was kicking in. Thanks for all the reviews.

------------

Spike eyes radiated in amazement of the strangeness of the cosmos. "You know, luv. There is so much more." He pointed to the sky. "You see all those stars? Probably a lot of them contains life. Take for example Orion, over there -"

He stopped as Fred looked bored. He chuckled. "Uhm, sorry. I guess you know all about that." He refocused himself before continuing. "What I wanna say was there are more things between Earth and Heaven, they are mysteries. I should have been dust along time ago, but here I'm standing talking to you. In a time we barely knew what stars were . . ."

He took a drag from his smoke. He smiled. "Well, I certainly didn't. I guess others like you would have . . ." He looked at her straight in the eyes. "Ever got feeling that people don't understand you." At her nod he continued. "Must be a pain in the ass, being a genius, but only a few people can share that worldview with you. Can understand you."

He recieved a shy smile from the girl. "I-I learned to live with it."

"Sure you do. I know the feeling too . . . Oh, I'm not a genius. Far from. But nobody understood me too . . . Not even my own so-called friends." He chuckled. ". . . Not even by myself."

He took another drag. "But they did. You know, the Scoobies . . . the enemy."

"Buffy?"

He sighed. "Yeah, Buff. Well, uh, yes and no-" Fred looked surprised. "She didn't understand me, not completely. But she accepted me. . . . She changed me."

Fred nodded as her eyes betrayed him to hurry up.

"Patience, luv. You asked, I tell. Than there was little nibblet. Big chunck of energy was suddenly a secret friend . . . first friend ever." He offered her his patented grin. "Well, I was mostly a crush, but hey can't blame her." He tone went serious again as he continued. "Everybody wants to protect her. Then there is Giles and Joyce. Bloody Brit tried to kill me, but he felt like a father to me. And Joyce-" He looked up again and sighed. "Joyce was wonderful. The most amazing person I have ever met. Everybody loved her. She was a mother . . . to us all." He looked into Fred's eyes. "You know her, don't you?"

She nodded. "I-I know. Angel talked about her one time. I-It's the only time I have seen him cry." 

Spike almost choked if he needed to breathe and his eyes widened. "Really?"

She smiled. "Single tear."

"Bloody Hell, I thought he could only brood."

"S-She was the reason why he had left Buffy. He said t-that he a-admired her for that."

"Well, her spirit is bloody sure from the Summer's gene-pool."

Fred smiled. "Sounds more like a real mom."

Spike returned the smile. "She sure was. She made hot chocolate . . . Best in the world," he explained.

"A-and what about Willow?"

"Little Spitfire? Well, don't mess with her luv or -" Fred wondered what he was thinking. "You're bloody toast. Or skinned alive or . . . Turned into a frog?" He quickly said as he noticed Fred's horrified face. 

"Skinned a-alive?"

"Well, that or the end of the world." Fred looked shocked as Spike continued, "Can't blame her though. Tara was a real sweety. Shy, but with a strong will. Like you."

Fred blushed. "Really?"

"Uh, well, don't think about it, luv. She has a girlfriend now."

"O-okay," she replied puzzled.

"So, the world is save from her . . . for a while . . . Anyway, she is a real big help for Buffy. Magic, hacking and research. Big brain and pretty good with the fighting too."

Fred nodded. She knew her friend like that.

"And life-long friend with that -" Stopped as he looked up again and slowly blew a luxurious cloud of smoke into the air while he thougth about the third miracle of the day. "Bloody whelp was nice to me," he muttered softly.

"W-with who?" Fred inquired, wondering.

"You don't know?" Spike asked surprised.

"Uh, A-Angel, Wes and Cordy never talk much about S-Sunnydale."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "You know about Buffy and Willow, but not about that bloody wanker?"

Fred shook her head, her face puzzling. "Uh, b-bloody wanker?"

"Buffy's boy. Cordy's ex luv crush. Ya know, that bloody smartass who wishes he could stake me five times a day. Bloody stubborn and protective as hell for his friends."

"A-Angel?"

Spike rolled his eyes as he flipped his sigaret away. "No," he drawled, "Xander."

"Oh?"

***

_Hey, Buff. Must be a real shock, huh? I'm sure Dawn supports you. She's extraordinary with that._

Feeling a soft squeeze brought a smile to the blond Slayer's face.

_I have told Spike about him being the father. Don't worry or be angry with him for not having called you, Buff. Knowing Spike, he probably is just too nervous. I have asked him to take a two day break to adjust to the happy news. And I ask you to do the same. At least until we know more about the baby._

_Please, let Dawn take care of you,_

_Xander_

***

Somewhere in Central Africa 

a day earlier

A young man was riding in his cheep. His mood was one of frustration which had only increased in the last hour. The biggest part of that frustration was caused by the person sitting in front seat next to him. The Dark Slayer was worried. She could clearly see it and she knew that from the corner of his right eye he could see her watching him as he suddenly spoke - without turning his head. 

"Tell me again, why am I your Watcher?"

Her expression quickly morphed into her usual attitude. "Thought that a trip through Africa would be cool," she replied with a smirk, "And you happen to be assigned here by G already . . . wondered how sexy ya would look in tribal wear-"

"I'm here to seek the origins of the Slayer-" he interrupted.

She held up her hand. "Yeah, yeah, I know. You're here for the cute little baby and I'm here rollin' up baby Slayers." 

"Then why are you coming with me? "

"Hey, thought ya would appreciate the company." He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. She shrugged. "Well, most men do."

"Then why did Wood break with you?" he simply asked, semi-serious.

She flashed him a nasty look, but dimmed quickly. "Couldn't fit in his 'perfect mother' picture, " she explained as she took out another cigarette.

"Doesn't surprise me."

"I tell ya, he really has this huge Slayer obsession."

"'So, you're fine with it?"

"I'm five by five. He didn't fit in my 'being a real man' image anyway, if ya get my drift," she explained, raising an eyebrow.

Xander rolled his right eye and his imaginary left eye as she smirked. "Oh, boy. Now I am gay."

Feedback please..


	6. Dedication

**Rome a future**

Buffy and her daughter stopped by a pet store after she had taken a dog into their family who had been left alone by their unfortune owners. She bought feed bowls, a bag of puppy chow, some chew toys and a collar with a leash, both of which were attached to the dog while still in the store. "Quiet, Jack," Buffy ordered and smiled embarrassing at the attendant as he swept him in a 'bath' of sonic waves to kill fleas, ticks and other parasitic pests. 

She watched him with an intrigued eye. "You sure that that works? With all the sounds and all?" She asked in Italian.

The man smiled at her and nodded.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, dear?" she asked as she watched the attendant being busy with the dog.

"Daddy says he wants a cat."

She turned her head to her and smiled warmly. "I know, sweety. But mommy wants a dog." She sighed. "And 2.5 kids playing with their dad in the garden," she softly muttered.

Suddenly the door opened and a man rushed in with a cloth over him - smoke coming from it. "Bloody hell."

"Daddy."

They hugged him. Buffy stepped back as she wrinckled her nose. "You smell. Ewww."

Spike sniffed at himself. He frowned, but quickly smiled. "Oh, its nothing, luv. It's gone in a minute, just some burned skin. Nothing to worry 'bout."

Buffy looked at him up and down, her eyes having the mixture of guilt and sadness, but quickly changed in a smile before she hugged him again. They loved each other, but there were problems.

***

**LA**

"Spike?" The young woman looked at her friend who seemed out of the world with his thoughts as he continued to stare in front of him.

"Spike?" The bleeched vampire suddenly turned his eyes towards her. "Spike, its everything alright?"

He stared at her for a few second before he spoke on his usual calm tone. "Oh, yes. Couldn't be better, luv. I had a sweet dream."

Fred smiled. "You were talking about, uhm, X-Xander?"

"Huh?"

"Y-you talking, me l-listening?"

Spike smile widened. "Oh yes, quiet right, luv. As I was saying, that son of a-. No, that's not nice. I'm a better man now. Lets say that he doesn't like me." He paused. "Anya. Do you know Anya?"

"Uh, no?"

"No? Well, depends on the boyfriend you get, but she could come quiet in handy when you-" He paused. Fred looked completely puzzled. "Oh, bugger it, you're not that type of girl. Forget it. Anya was Xander's girlfriend. She died as a true hero.

Fred looked sad.

Spike nodded. "Yes, I tell ya luv. I've never seen quiet the couple like those two. And I've seen some in my life, ya know? Buffy and myself included."

*****

**Central Africa, same time**

"Uhm, I really do remember Giles saying that there was a cave here . . . somewhere," Xander muttered as he and Faith arrived in the middle of a desert. "I can only see sand."

Xander noticed how Faith grinned at him. "What?"

"You still want me to go back?"

Xander narrowed his eye. "Let me guess . . . Slayer thing?"

Faith smirked. "Totally."

"Is that why I'm your Watcher? 'Cause I still don't get why you're not in LA with your broody friend and Wes."

"Yep."

"Oh boy, why couldn't Giles give me another Slayer?"

"Because you need an experienced one."

"Was that what he said? 'Cause than I so need to-"

"Relax, pal. It was Fang who asked me to be your Watcher."

Xander's eye widened fully. "What?"

"The gang doesn't trust him anymore." The Dark Slayer pointed her finger at him. "And you're number one on that list. I'm gonna keep an eye on ya."

"I thank you. So, you talked to Deadboy while I clearly remembered how Giles convinced you not too."

"And that stopped me . . . since when?" At his look she continued. "Look, pal. He's my best friend. I owe him."

"He's running an evil empire."

Fait stepped out of the jeep and shut the door behind her. "And ya side up with bleech boy-" She turned to gaze him. "I peeked when you wrote the letter. Why did you mention Anya's death?"

Faith swallowed and looked worried as Xander didn't react immediately. Her heart ached as she saw how he instead looked out over the dead desert. His eye showed his loneliness as he stood there like a pirot watching over the ocean seeking out for his love. After a long akward moment he sighed deeply and spoke again as he faced her. "Damnit, Faith! We are talking about the life of an innocent child. Spike barely trusts me. Last what Bleechboy would need to think is that I'm here with you, Faith. Do you think for second that he would believe me then??"

The Dark Slayer shrugged. "Guess not."

Xander looked frustrated. "I need to be straigth with him. I need his trust. And he did trust Anya."

***

Rome same time

"Buffy? Buffy?"

Buffy's eyes flash open and she looked straigth in the concerned eyes of her sister. "Buffy, are you okay?" She slowly nodded, her face all confused. "Buffy, what happened?"

The blond Slayer looked around, still confused before paying attention to Dawn again. "I-I don'[t know. I had a dream. It was-" She was lost for words.

"It was what?"

"It was . . . It was wonderful. It was a happy dream, Dawn . . ." She smiled brightly. "It was a happy dream." She spoke the words, but somewhere in her heart she felt something was wrong. It was the life of being a Slayer.

***

**LA Somewhere else at the same time**

The local air chilled a few degrees and a small line of light appeared against the darkness in the alley. It grew slowly into a rectangular form in the size of a door. The right side of the shape thickened as it in fact appeared to be a door which was opening. Sunny light and chirping sounds of birds penetrated the dark and quiet alley as a figure walked through. He was wearing a long black coat, black jeans and boots. Reflection of the light showed his blond hair. He looked back and then forwards again. The stranger sniffed the fresh air and an evil grin appeared on his face. "Bummer, I love the sun . . ." He morphed out. "Oh, well as long as I can party."

*****

Fred smiled sadly. "Really? Were they a happy couple?"

Spike thought for a few moments. "They looked happy to me . . . In the end she died for him."

Fred's eyes watered. "That's wonderful. What was s-she like?"

"One of the most amazing women I've ever had the pleasure to have met. She had this unique view on the world. She was completely honest. She was sweet and smart. Good looking too. Very dedicated to her work and her boyfriend. She had this total devotion. There she was this frightened little girl suddenly coming into a strange new world." He looked up and swallowed out of respect and then he looked back at Fred. "She had risked her life for years in the good fight and at the very same time she tried to adjust into the human world - only out of luv for Xander. It was inspirational. I could talk to her, ya know. She understood what I was going through. My old demon ways, my guilt for my past crimes and my luv for Buffy. And on the day before her dream with Xander could begin she sacrificed her life." He sighed. For that nitwit. "Oh, she was not perfect; she had her flaws too, ya know." He flashed her a grin. "Sometimes she was completely bloody nuts." 

He paused as he moved his hand in his pocket to get his sigarettes. He looked Fred straigth in the eyes and went completely serious. "Don't get me wrong, I totally and completely luv and adore Buffy. But, where Buffy is my light, she was my friend."

He took out another smoke and brought it to his lips, his hand covering the light. "Oh, yeah, Anya was the best."

*******

Thanks for all the great feedback so far. Next part I will write a list of nominations for the name.


	7. Los Angeles

****A/N I'm sorry that it took me so long to update Complete lack of time. Next week is kind of busy for me too. Then I'll have more time. It's gonna be a pretty long story. So, I need to setup things first. But Spuffy will be soon. It will contain a lot of drama to, so be warned. It will contain some XF friendship/angst as well. They have a lot of similarities compared to Spuffy. In my opinion. (And so much doesn't Faith differ from Anya ::grin::) Not sure if it will get into a ship though. After all, Spuffy took several seasons as well J. And of course there is Angel trapped in all of this as well. I'm want to make him really jealous towards Spike. What do you think?

***************

******Rome**

Buffy stumbled through the living room, but her mind was somewhere else. Dawn had left to go to school as the blond Slayer had ensured her younger sister that she was fine and school was too important to miss. Of course she wasn't as every kind of emotion were fighting each other to conquer her mind and body. In the end insecurity was beaten temporarily, but long enough for Buffy to pick up the phone.

***

Fred looked at Spike while he had been silent for a while. People thought of her being a geek. But even geeks were able to see when a person was dealing with something which was bigger than they could handle. She could see it in his eyes, even though he was very could at hiding it.

"Spike-" she suddenly asked , trying to get his attention. Spike blinked at watched her, a smile brightening his features. Fred was too determined to not let his charms force her away from the subject at hand. "What is bothering you so much? What's going on?"

Spike pulled the letter out of his pocket and gave it her. "I'm gonna be a daddy,' he simply said.

Fred eyes widened and she quickly glanced at the letter. She looked at him with a sparkle in her eyes and an huge enthusiastic smile. "But that's fantastic."

***

**Africa**

Xander had followed the guide who has been called by Faith's presence and was now confronted by the First Slayer. The Dark Slayer was left behind.

The First Slayer lifted her chin in anger facing the one eyed young man.

Xander: "Okay . . ." What was it what Buffy told her? Death is your gift? No, that's not good. ". . . There's trees in the desert since you moved out. Uhm, wait that's not true. It's still pretty much only sandy. It's a pretty big sandbox. But we don't sleep on a bed of bones. Well, Spike maybe, but well, uhm, forget it. What I wanna say is that time changes. Now there's more than one Slayer - there are thousands-"

The First Slayer spoke in a very low, hoarse voice. "No ... We ... are ... alone!"

"No, you are not alone. And they need a leader. Buffy's child is the one."

"Child is not true."

"That's it. I want to know. I was told that I could find it here, where is it? And what are the threats to Buffy's child?

"No, we kill. Child not true Slayer. We only kill." The First Slayer attacked him and slammed him to the ground a few yards away. Xander tried to get up, but was forced back. For a few seconds he looked in her deadly eyes. He noticed a short hesitation, but then continued as he faced her deadly fist. Xander saw how Faith slammed into her, knocking her away, just in time. He witnessed how the two Slayers danced slowly around each other. Not only seeking for an opening in each other defense, but also seeking for a connection in a primal sort of way. Seeking respect and understanding. But giving anger and hatred as well. With a deep growl the First Slayer was the first to break this dance as Xander saw how she with dazzling speed her arm snapped straight into Faith's chest. In a blur Xander witnessed an increadible, but short fight - resulting with the First Slayer laying on her butt. 

"It's over," Faith finally ordered. The First Slayer shook her head. "Tell us, what's up with baby."

The First Slayer grabbed her again and they roll over the sand, clutching each other and rolling over and over. 

"Enough!" Xander finally yelled. They both stopped and looked at him. "I don't know what the deal is with you Slayers. And frankly, I don't care. Only thing what I do know is that I do this for my best friend and her child and I really hate it to let her down." He lowered his voice as his eye sternly connected with African native. "So you better tell me."

The First Slayer pushed Faith away and she quickly stood up and walked slowly closer to him, not losing her eye-contact with Xander for a second. "It's here. Death is here."

"Here? Where's here?" Xander responded.

"There where there is evil. There where there sadness, sorrow and guilt. There were there is death. Like you wanted."

*** 

**Rome Airport**

Buffy had checked in and has taken a seat somewhere at the back of the plane. Within a few hours she was able to get a seat for a direct flight to LA. It was one of the advantages of having connections with a powerful organization as the Watchers-Council. Even though she officially had retired.

As the last passengers filled the rest of the seats, the young woman looked out of the small window. He thoughts about 6000 miles away, or rather 13 hours. There's a DING sound. She looks up and saw the "FASTEN SEATBELTS" sign lighten up. With a blank expression, she looks back to the window. She heard how the seat next to her was taken by the one of the last passengers.

"Excuse me, miss. Can I sit at window seat?" She heard the passenger ask with a familiar voice.

Buffy snapped her head around and looked in the smiling eyes of her younger sister. "Dawn?"

Dawn grinned. "Hi, Buffy. I hear it's nice weather in LA when we arrive."

"Dawn, what are you doing here?"

"You think that you get away from me so easily?" 

******

Nominations:

Aurora

Tanya-Joyce

Annabelle

Anne

Lysandra

Anya

Tara

Aniela

Anastasia


	8. Angel

*********************

Thanks for the reviews. Updates will be quicker now, I promise. I'll try to update once in three days. 

Thanks for all the names. And there is still time for new names. Thanks you Paige, I like it enough to nominate it.

**Los Angeles Wolfram and Hart**

**Next day**

Angel was sitting behind his oaken desk in a luxerious leather chair as he saw Buffy and Dawn walking in. He noticed how she ignored him and was only looking around.

"Buffy?"

The blond Slayer turned her attention towards the vampire. "Where is he?"

Angel took on his appearance of being stupid. "Who?"

"Spike."

Angel shrugged. "Haven't seen him since yesterday."

The souled vampire saw flashes of nervousness behind her confident eyes as she was silent for a moment. "How is he?" she finally asked.

He didn't give in an inch. "Like Spike."

He saw the nervousness change in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Spike is Spike, what else can I say about him. He's all about the good fight now, but that's about it."

She flashed a smile. "That's good . . . I guess," she muttered the last two words.

Angel switched his gaze to Dawn who shrugged. He flashed a smile. "How are you?" he asked her friendly.

"Fine," she answered curtly.

Angel sighed a bit. Ever since Angelus had threatened Buffy, she was mildly hostile at the least. Especially when she had been one of the main persons to hurt her older sister. 

"Better than you and your house of evil," Dawn continued.

Angel sow how Dawn's comment made Buffy snap out of her worries and turned her face to him. "Why do you have taken over this place?" she asked waving her hand. "And what is Harmony doing here?"

Angel clearly felt pushed into the defense, but had problems to find the right words. "I-I . . . To fight the darkness on equal terms."

He saw Buffy nodding slowly. "You know that its like playing with fire, don't you?" Angel nodded, but felt some unfair acquisition in her words. Apparently she knows it as well as she continued. "I'm just worried." Feeling some relief he nodded. "That's why I'm staying," she added firmly.

Angel blinked. "What? You're staying to do what?- making sure I'm . . ."

"She bloody hell does, mate," he heard an annoying voice interrupt him and making Buffy snap her head towards it.

"Spike?"

Spike smiled. "Hey, luv," he said, with a small trace of nervousness in his tone.

Buffy rushed over to him and slapped him straight on the face, causing him look confused and hurt. "W-what?"

"Bastard!" she yelled

Angel couldn't help himself to allow himself a rare smile as he saw Spike incredulous look.

She slammed him again on his face. "This is for not telling me that your back." And again. "And this is for making me going through hell after Xander of all persons had to tell me."

Angel's smile reached its maximum as he took in his grand-child's dazed face. _The boyscout had to tell the truth,_ he thought. Angelus inside of him roared in pleasure for the stupid bleached vampire, but he roared even harder for its cursed soul as Angel saw how Buffy planted her lips firmly on Spike's.

Angel looked disgusted as she pulled back and smiled. "And this is for loving me."

". . ."

"You do love me?" she asked, her eyes desperate.

". . ."

"Spike?" she asked nervously.

"Bloody hell I do," he finally said, making Buffy smile brightly before kissing him again.

********

Nominations:

Aurora

Tanya-Joyce

Annabelle

Anne

Lysandra

Anya

Tara

Aniela

Anastasia

Mallory Anne 


	9. Make it up

A/N: I don't really hate Angel. But he would be for sure jealous.

*********

**Angel's office**

Angel and Dawn exchanged a look as Spike and Buffy shamelessly kissed in his office. "Maybe, I should call Harmony in," he said to Dawn. "Have some fun."

Spike smiled as he released her. "You know I love you too, right?" Buffy asked as she returned his smile.

He cupped her face and leaned in to kiss her to answer her and she kissed him back. 

"Angel, give Dawn a room. I'll stay with Spike."

Angel nodded and gave Spike one long dirty look. "I'll have Harmony show you one, Dawnie."

Buffy nodded. She looked at Spike and smiled. "Let's check yours out." 

They left as Angel called Harmony into his office. "So, Dawn, how's life in Rome?"

Her face lit up. "Great. There was this guy. He has the cutiest eyes in the whole world. And he speaks so charmingly. Like Italian , you know." Angel sat back in his chair, tired as Dawn began over schoolboys and just boys.

*****

**Spike's room**

Buffy and Spike entered the room and she checked out the place.

"I've got only a single bed," he explained. She sat on it and pointed to him to get to sit next to her. He did as told. "I love you, Buffy."

"You better, mister." With that he cupped her face and leaned in to kiss her and she kissed him back. He pulled away 

because she needed to breathe and looked at her.

"I know you aren't too pleased that Peaches is running the place, but he really is doing the best he can with it. I'll make sure of it. And Buffy about me not telling you, I-"

She placed her finger on his lips. "Its okay, Spike. Can it wait 'till, uhm, say tomorrow?" Her lips traced his and she closed her eyes. "We have several months to catch up for." He wrapped both arms around her and cupped her head as they kissed slowly and gently.

Spike didn't linger there, however, and continued up tenderly kissing Buffy's neck. He reached Buffy's lips and removed her shirt completely. Buffy closed her eyes as Spike kissed her again. Spike pulled back nibbling Buffy's lip softly. He quickly removed his own shirt. He ran her hands down Buffy's impeccable body as she moaned softly.

He noticed how her belly was clearly showing her pregnancy and was amazed by the wonderful beauty of it. He closed his eyes as he kissed belly-button and could hear the child's heart-beat. Together with Buffy's. 

He lowered himself further and pulled off her skirt. He massaged her feet and kissed her legs upwards. He looked up and his eyes roamed the woman in front of her. Her eyes closed, an amazing smile brightening her face. It shown through the whole room. _Why did I deserve this?_ he asked himself. He swallowed at the sight as his girl had fallen asleep. He carefully pulled the blankets over her and laid down next to her. He looked up at ceiling as she snuggled up at him. "Damn, how can I ever get any sleep tonight," he softly muttered.

*****

Harmony showed Dawn her room. The teenager hadn't said a word to the vampire, just like she and Buffy had ignored her completely earlier on. Dawn stepped into the room and she turned around. "You know that they are doin' the honkey bonkey upstairs right now, don't you?"

Harmony scowled, but didn't vamp out and walked away.

Dawn grinned and closed the door. She looked around and noticed a phone on the bedroom table flanking the bed. She walked over and dialed a number.

"Hi, Xander . . . Thanks . . ." Dawn grinned. "I feel for ya, Xan . . . Yeah, I know . . . Yes, we arrived here today, just like you wrote . . . Okay . . . good. Yes, I'll. Bye."

She sighed and gawed. She dialed another number. "Hello? I'm sorry for calling so late . . . Yes, I'll wait, thank you very much." Dawn waited for a few minutes before she heard a familiar voice. "Hi Willow, I'm sorry for calling you so late . . . Yes, everything is fine. She's here. I just called Xander. He had a cryptic message from the first . . . He'll call you . . . Okay . . . They'll have it here, don't they? . . . I know we can't trust them . . . Andrew? I don't think that he can show his face here again . . . Okay. Yes. Bye, and say hi to Ken for me."

She hang up and made herself ready for much needed sleep.

**************

Nominations:

Aurora

Tanya-Joyce

Annabelle

Anne

Lysandra

Anya

Tara

Aniela

Anastasia

Mallory Anne 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. Hero

A/N: This is a longer part than usual. Hope you like it. And thanks for all the reviews. Keep it up.

*********

**LA**

**Night**

Xander had left his dingy motel room, where he had changed his Africa wardrobe into something more suitable for the LA night. The one eyed brunette looked inside black leather trenchcoat, quickly examining the weaponry within. It revealed several guns in the lining, of which a shotgun that hung in a sheath on the inside right of his jacket was the biggest. Around his waist he wore a belt containing stakes and a couple of bottles containing blessed water.

Dressed entirely in black and even his long trenchcoat could not hide his trained physique, giving him grace. His longer brown hair hung over his shoulder. Finished by the eye-patch covering his left eye and his sun-browned skin, his face looked as if he had experienced the darkest of things life had to offer.

_Wow!_ Faith admired, _Much better. Giles and Woody have done a miracle._ "Looking good, X," she complemented him, blowing out a stream of smoke.

Xander shrugged. "Just try to blend in."

She smiled wickedly. "Maybe you should do that more often then."

"It's an idea. Andrew seems to like it. Reminds him of Spike. Can't blame him. He's hot."

Faith rolled her eyes. Everytime she complemented him, he refered it too his new-found gayness. She knew that was only to fuck with her ego. "Think you can handle that gun with one eye?" she tried to get back at him as she pointed at the shotgun.

"It's hard to miss when you put it in a face," he responded calmly.

They walked through several alleys and remained quiet for some time. "So, where are we heading for, X?" Faith broke the silence.

"Check out some demon bars. Willow said that the key to the mystery is here somewhere."

They reached the first demon bar for their search. "Stay here, Faith. I'm gonna get some info."

"I'm coming with you," Faith said as Xander held up his hand.

He scowled. "You stay here, Slayer." It sounded way too much as an order to Faith's liking. Ever since she had joined him, he almost hadn't said a word. And if he did than it those words were more and more used to get under her skin. It made her pissed, but at the same time she wondered what was going on insid that skull of his.

"I think it's better for me to-"

"You thought wrong . . ." Xander said coldly, ignoring the unwanted concern she was unwittingly sharing with him.

She swallowed it and he entered the bar. Faith listened to her boots hit the pavement as a distraction to calm her irritation down. She finished her smoke and threw it to the ground. She reached for another one. 

*****

Buffy and her fifteen year old daughter were sunbathing in her garden.

The Slayer turned her head to her daughter and smiled. "It won't take long for Willow's magic will kick in."

She returned the smile. "It's so cool. I can't wait."

"It's also a huge responsibility. You do realize that, don't you."

"Hey. Trained for fifteen years, remember?"

Buffy held up her hand. "Sorry. I know."

The girl smirked. "I'm gonna kick dad's ass more than ever."

Buffy smirked back. "Be gentle with him."

Buffy slowly opened her eyes as she woke up, her eyes dazed. She looked around and saw that it was still night. She turned around and saw Spike still sleeping.

*****

After having gone to several bars, without having gained any result, Faith found herself again outside a bar. For some reason it didn't bothered her not so much anymore. But it wasn't relaxing either. She reached inside her pocket for a smoke and realized that it was the last one. "Fuck."

"Hey," a guy said. He stepped off to the side and held up a sigarette. "Wanna smoke?" he offered.

Faith looked up and down the guy as she hid her gratefullness. "Yeah, sure."

The guy handed her one and lit it as he puffed away on his as his eyes roamed her body. "You're alone?"

She didn't want any conversation whatsoever, just wanted to smoke in peace. "No."

"Oh yeah. Is that why you look so miserable."

She scowled threatingly at him. "Mind your own business, pal."

"You should come on in," he said, nodding towards the dive they stood in front of. "Pretty cool place." He didn't say anything more than that and walked right in. She stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. He turned around. "Just wanted to ask you a question."

He grinned. "Sure."

Faith paused. Not sure what to ask. She didn't have a clue what was going on. "Never mind," she answered while she smoothly moved her hand and dusted him.

Faith looked up, throwing her cigarette on the ground. Then she had noticed that a small paper had dropped out of the vamp's jacket when he had offered her a sigaret. The girl picked it up and read it quickly. She raised an eyebrow and a grin flickered on her face. "Shit." She walked in and immediately scoped the place out.

Faith moved to the bar and smirked as she saw him involved with a couple of demons in a brawl. "Yo, bar guy!" she called, "Gimme a Heineken."

She took the beer and watched the show as Xander was barely able to avoid a punch from an ugly. He swung his fist in respond and hit the demon straight in the face, resulting in a broken nose as the demon fell to the ground with a scream. Only then Faith noticed the brass knuckles on his fist. The other demon backed away, but was quickly replaced by a vampire from behind. He was about to grab Xander from behind without him noticing it. Faith didn't think for second as she pushed her stake in it's back. Xander turned her around, his eye wide.

"Faith."

"Don't have to thank me. Any info?"

He scowled. "No."

Faith smiled and handed him the paper. He read it as then looked back at her, stunned. "What?"

"Thought you would be interested."

"Where did you get this from?"

"Hey, a Slayer has his own sources. Besides, who said that smoking was bad?" she muttered the last sentence.

"And I happen to be your Watcher. You don't have any secrets from me."

Faith smirked. "Don't I know it." She looked in his annoyed face. "You're no fun." She sighed, no longer in the mood for more teasing. "It was a vamp I met outside. Dusted him after he dropped it."

"Let's check it out. If this is true than Spike is gonna get a visit. And he ain't gonna like it."

**Next morning**

**Wolfram and Hart**

With only a towel around his waist he walked out the bathroom into livingroom. His upper body was half dry as small drips were still rolling over his chest. Buffy was sitting on the couch, wearing a robe. She looked up at him, her eyes serious. She didn't notice him coming in.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

She turned her head toward him. The worry in her eyes hurt him. "Why haven't you told me that you were alive?" 

"I-I don't know. It's just, well it sounds so weird. Hello, Buffy. It's Spike. I didn't burn up like you thought. How are things?" he more or less joked.

Buffy took it serious. "You didn't burn up like I thought? What do you mean? You **did **burn up, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah. It bloody hurt."

Buffy frowned. "How come you're not dead?"

"It's that bloody amulet that Peaches gave you. They tried to-" He stopped, dedicing to leave the Hell part out of the story. "Suffice to say, I didn't end up in heaven, but here." He stared at her. "I wanted to look you up at first. But, this amulet was stucked here. And that thing and I had a kind of connection." He paused. "Then a lightflash and there was this whole destiny thing, but that got dropped at the bottom of a cup of perpetual nothing?"

Buffy's eyes widened. "Huh?"

"I got freed."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

She sighed. "I understand. I think."

They were silent for some time.

The vampire sighed. "Look, Buffy. Spike's not a hero. The Spike you knew, was the Spike that's only out for himself. The one who did good deeds to impress . . . women."

She smiled. "Well you did impress me." Her face turned serious again. 

He sighed and looked at her. "Buffy, what I did in that hell-hole . . . I didn't save the world to save the world."

There was a moment of awkward silence, which was broken by Buffy. 

"Is that why you have joined Angel? To follow his footsteps and become a hero?"

"I've got no itch to join Peaches' evil empire."

Buffy frowned, confused. "But, you have joined? Fred told me."

"Oh, bugger it off. I need money. You know, for our baby."

Spike noticed that her mood dropped an inch instead of what he had expected, a smile. He instantly dropped the issue and went back on the old topic.

"I tried to find myself. Wanted to do some good and-" He paused and shook his head. "I guess this is a kind of post world-saving traumatic experience."

"I know that feeling."

"It's not what I had expected. I thought it would feel fantastic. But, it sucks."

"Don't I know it." She looked confused. "Spike, are you trying to tell me that this whole hero thing that's bothering you, was holding you back from me?"

"Well, kind of, I guess. Look, Buffy. I don't have a destiny. And I don't want it." He looked at her. "Bloody hell, I don't know."

She looked worried at him. "What are you trying to tell?"

"I don't think I deserve you. I'm not a hero. I'm wannabe, but I just-"

Buffy smiled and kissed him as her hands rubbed over his chest. "Yes, you are. You died for me. You're **my** hero."

Spike's swallowed and his eyes widened as he was clearly touched by her soft words.

**************

I have removed two names of the nominations list. It's about time to move to a name :) 

Nominations:

Aurora

Tanya-Joyce

Anne

Lysandra

Anya

Tara

Anastasia

Mallory Anne 


End file.
